


It Just Ends

by gatergirl79



Series: Family Issues [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Episode Tag: The End, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Past Castiel/Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 17:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13595097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatergirl79/pseuds/gatergirl79
Summary: A follow up to 'Family Don't End With Blood' set in 2014. Dean and Cass aren't the same men they used to be, especially now they've lost Claire.





	It Just Ends

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel to Family Don't End with Blood.   
> Previously: Dean take Claire Novak under his wing after her mom is taken by a demon and her father reclaims his role as Castiel's vessel.   
> Spoilers: Season Five, Episode Four - The End. (only a little)   
> Warning: Not Beta Read. (There will be mistakes, I am aware of this, and now so are you.)   
> Enjoy. xxx

_Bobby’s house._

_The old man slumped forward in his chair._

_The stench of blood, death and sulphur filling the room._

     Dean shot up in the bed, sweat drowning his body, his heart racing. It was just another nightmare he told himself. But why now? Why after so long. He hadn’t dreamt about that night for over a year. He’d been either too busy or too drunk to dream. Throwing back the covers he embraced the cold that attacked his damp skin. His heart returned to its natural rhythm and he breathed in the cold night air.

     Finally, sure he’d chased away the last remnants of the horror show that was his past; Dean swung his legs over the side of the bed and began to dress. He had a mission in a few hours.

“Dean?” came a soft female voice.

“Go back to sleep Jane.” Dean didn’t look at his bed partners naked body laying tangled in the sheets. He simply dressed, shrugged on his jacket and headed out into the cold pre-dawn, feeling the same as he always did. Empty and alone.

 

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

_Blood._

_Metal._

_Sulphur._

_Blood._

_Fear._

_Anger._

     Cass’s eyes flew open at the nightmare. The same dream he’d had a thousand times. The same horrific moment that had cost him everything. Reaching out, his fingers brushed against cold glass. They wrapped tight around the neck of the bottle as he lifted it from the floor beside him. Raising his head, he threw back as much of the whiskey as he could take before dropping the now empty bottle on the already cluttered floor with a thud.  His hand then reached out for the pills that lay on the box beside the bed. Popping two into his mouth, he turned into the warm flesh pillow of another nameless body, confident that the drugs and alcohol would chase away the memory and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t wake up to face another pointless day.

    

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

     Dean hated days like these, long drives along endless highways with nothing but himself for company. Sure, he had Yaeger with him, but the guy always took the long drives as a chance to catch up on his sleep and the sound of his soring always reminded Dean exactly what he was missing. On the long, empty silent drives Dean’s mind was easily drawn into the danger zone. Traveling back to when he was happy, before he’d made the biggest mistake of his life. One that had cost the world dearly. He wasn’t a fool; he knew it was on him. He knew that if he had just said yes everything would be alright.

     Usually Dean could block it out, drink it away, hell on some occasions he’d even resorted to popping a couple of Castiel’s pills. But facing himself – literarily. – had shaken the tree and now all his coconuts were falling. Memory after memory flickered through his mind like an old black and white monster movie. Dad, Sam, Bobby, Castiel…and Claire.

     Dean had to swallow back the pain as it reared its ugly head again. It had been almost two years since they’d lost Claire. Two years and the pain were as fresh today as it was then. He could still see her body, bloody and broken on the floor of Bobby’s house, could still smell the sulphur. He’d lost his daughter, his father and his best friend all in a single night.

Damn Zachariah.

 

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

     Castiel wavered as he stared at the past. The man Dean had once been, the man who was all forgiveness and support. Dean wasn’t any of those things anymore. He’d changed, become darker. He didn’t forgive or forget, he just lived day by day, breath by breath. Cass understood it, he even shared it. The living moment by moment waiting for it all to be over, that’s what he’d been doing for years, just waiting for the lights to go out. He had figure long ago that maybe he could drink, drug and screw himself into his grave, turned out even as a human he had more resilience than most. So now he just waited for that day Dean had finally had enough and decided he couldn’t look at him anymore. And if what he’d heard around camp was true, that day was growing closer and closer. Finally, it would be over. The pain, the guilt, the distance in Dean’s eyes every time they looked his way.

 

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

     Dean arrived back at the camp with just what he’d went out to find. The Colt was burning a hole in his duffle bag. Soon it would all be over. He’d kill Lucifer and Claire would be revenged. His plan was heartless he knew. It was going to cost innocent lives, lives of people he cared about… Castiel’s life. – But he couldn’t help that. He’d stopped actually caring about anything a long time ago. That was what made shooting Yaeger so easy, it was just another casualty of war, just like all the others. Just like Clair and Sam, Bobby and Cass. All that mattered was winning that war. Which meant spilling innocent blood. – Anyone’s.

     That was how he thought now. It wasn’t about one life being as important as another, it wasn’t about the big picture either. Looking back at his younger, more naive self, he could see all that pure righteousness behind those green eyes. It was almost comical really. To see a man who just didn’t see that the world was on a slow trip down the toilet.

     Dean’s gaze caught Castiel standing a few steps behind. That look of judgment and disappointment that had been as much a part of him as the trench-coat. A shadow of a feeling stirred in Dean’s gut. They’d been close once. Castiel, Angel of the Lord had been Dean’s only friend…ever. They had had a family once. Dysfunction as it was. Claire had jokingly called them her two dads, which if Dean was honest he kinda liked.

     But that was the past. Dean thought, shaking the memory off. Neither he nor Castiel were the same people they were then. Claire’s death had seen to that.

 

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

     Castiel escaped into his room, into a bottle and into any woman that happened to be around. It was the only way he had of keeping the pain at bay. Usually it didn’t bother him overly much, it was a constant companion, like a tattoo or a scare. But Dean’s past self was like acid, burning and blistering at his soul. - Or what passed as a soul.

     Seeing the two men together in the light of day had been heart-breaking. Not that many people had known Dean before, it was just him and Chuck, so it was only them that saw the difference in him. But if they looked between the past and the present now, they would see it. The hope that had once shone in Dean’s eyes and off his soul, the need to protect and serve, the desire to sacrifice everything, even himself for the world. - That was gone now. Now he was just a body. He may as well have been a shifter, all the memories, all the feature, none of the feelings.

     Seeing that struck home what had been lost. Not just their daughter, but their relationship, their souls.

 

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

     Dean marched into Castiel’s cabin like he owned it. Having had a heated discussion with his past, he now need to talk to Castiel. He needed to know what he’d told him, or what he planned on telling him. It wasn’t the first time Dean had walked in on Castiel banging some groupie, but every time he did it still affected him the same way. Seeing that felt wrong to Dean, and even made something in his gut and heart clench painfully. He coughed to announce his arrival. The girl was new, or at least not one of Castiel’s usual partners. Her face turned scarlet as Castiel swore and climbed off her. Dean didn’t move, other than lowering his eyes slightly. “Get out.” He ordered the girl in his usual unforgiving empty tone.

     The girl looked from Castiel to Dean and back again before jumping off the bed and running from the room, taking the bed sheet with her. Castiel lay nonchalantly on the bed, naked as the day he was born…well, the day his vessel was anyway. Dean didn’t flinch, didn’t look away, because he didn’t care enough to. Cass sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “What do you want Dean?”

“What did you tell him?”

Cass's head dropped into his hands as he leant of his bare knees. “Nothing, was I meant to?”

Dean sucked in a breath, his chin raised. “I thought you might have told him about Claire.”

Cass turned glassy blue eyes, that weren’t all that amazing anymore, on the hunter. “I thought you would have?”

“No. – What’s the point, what’s done is done. – He’s not going to change anything. The past can’t be rewritten, isn’t that what you said once?”

     Dean watched Castiel, watch him.

“That was different Dean.”

“Was it? – How? I couldn’t stop Mom from making that deal, he’s not going to be able to stop Sam from saying yes.”

Cass was on his feet and walking towards him, breaking into the taller man’s personal space for the first time in over three years. “You could have stop your Mom if you’d know about the deal. – If I’d told you.”

Dean stared down into blue eyes. “So why didn’t you?”

“Because I wasn’t allowed to. _Obviously_. – If I could do it again Dean, I’d tell you.”

There was a long-strained silence as the two men slipped easily back into familiar territory.

     “So, what? You think if I tell him about Sam that he’ll say yes to Michael? – You obviously don’t know me as well as you think you do Castiel, or you’d know that won’t make a blind bit of difference.” Dean breathed. “The past is the past, we’ve just got to live with it.”

Castiel glared furiously up at the stubborn ass that was Dean Winchester. The man always hated admitting he was wrong.

“At least tell him about Claire. Warn him about what happened.”

“So, he can do what?”

“Save her, you stubborn, stupid son of a bitch!”

     Dean turned away from the one-time angel. “No.”

“What! – Why the fuck not! – Dammit Dean.”

Dean turned sharply to meet the shorter man. “Because….” He swallowed. “…. I said so.” Then he was leaving, walking away from Castiel and the pain looking at him brought.

“Then _I_ fucking will!” Cass shouted after him. He was shaking from the cold air that swam over his naked flesh. “ _Fucking_ Winchesters!”

     Castiel looked around his room in search of a bottle, pills or drink, he didn’t care which. All he wanted was the blissful ignorance that came with it. Instead of a bottle, his gaze fell on the box in the far corner. Covered over with a shawl, candles and a load of hippy junk that helped impress the groupies. No one had ever asked what lay beneath. What that box held.

     After dressing once more in his jeans and shirt, he slowly walked to the chest. He hadn’t opened the thing in so long. Whether that was out of fear or shame he didn’t know. Lifting the rubbish off the top he raised the lid and stared down at the contents. Dropping to his knees beside it, he reached inside. Lying on the top was his battered and moth-eaten trench-coat. Cass ran his hands over the material and a soft sigh came from his throat. He hadn’t worn the thing since that night. He could still smell the blood and sulphur. Gently he placed it on the floor beside him and reach once again into the box for another coat. This one battered brown leather that carried a long and scared history. Dean had stopped wearing his leather jacket years before Claire’s death. It had been gathering dust in the Impala, but Cass had decided it deserved to be put with the rest of their past. Secure and safe.

     Next out was Dean’s father’s journal. It hadn’t been touched in years, hunting the everyday monsters had stopped once the Croatoan virus hit. So just like Dean’s jacket, the journal was left to gather dust. Placing it on top of the leather Cass reached for a medium sized black tin and a large brown leather covered book. They were the last two items and with them in hand Cass shifted so his back was pressed against the wood of the chest.

     Placing the book on his lap, with the box on top, he lifted the lid. There on top was a worn, slightly bloodied trucker cap. It still smelt of the old drunk. Cass smiled to himself as memories of Bobby flooded into his mind. After a moment, he put the cap aside and stared down at the book beneath, brown with age and dog-eared at the corners. It had been a gift from Clair, a joke at his expense. He smiled at he flicked the pages of Route 666. He hadn't read it since Claire had given it to him. Sighing painfully, Cass dropped the book and continued to riffle though the tin, lifting out item after item. The Impala’s keys, Dean’s fake ID’s, Castiel’s fake ID… the one they’d made on their way to Maine to find Raphael. Dean’s lighter, Cass’s mobile phone. Right at the bottom lay Claire’s locket, Dean’s ring hanging off it.

     Cass opened the tarnished gold and stared at the picture of Amelia and Jimmy Novak. It was one of the few things Claire had kept from her old life. Dean had given her his ring to hang on the chain only a few weeks before it had all gone to hell. Tears were already burning at Cass eyes, but he didn’t stop. After returning everything to the tin, he put to the side and took a deep breath before opening the photo album in his lap. It was the one he’d retrieve for Claire from the Novak home. He flipped through the pages. Photo after photo of Claire, Amelia and Jimmy. From her birth to the summer before Jimmy had said yes to Castiel. Cass examined every picture, smiling sadly to himself as he turned the pages.

     Slowly the Novak’s family pictures fade to the Winchesters. Suddenly the pictures were of Dean and Claire, him and Claire, Bobby and Claire. He laughed at the small photo booth pictures Dean had given her on their return from Maine. He looked awful and awkward, which Claire had said made them perfect. His smile faded as he reached the last picture taken of Ellen and Jo before demons got them.

     Then Castiel froze, his hands shaking. The last picture in the book was taken at Claire’s birthday. The day Dean had given her his ring. They looked so happy, everything had been forgotten, no hunting, no Lucifer, no war. They just spent the day being a normal family, celebrating a normal birthday. The picture showed Claire blowing out her candles. He and Dean stood proudly at her sides. Dean helping blow them out while Claire’s eyes were closed. He had just stood there frowning, not really understanding how blowing out flames would grant a wish, especially when as hunters and angel they all knew that if wishes were granted they usually ended in serious injury.

     A tear slipped from Cass’s eye and landed on Dean’s face. He didn’t care what the stubborn dick said, he was going to do whatever he could to chance history. – If only to save Claire.

 

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

     The team meeting wasn’t an easy hour to sit through, with two Dean Winchesters, Cass buzzing from the pills, joint and half bottle of jack he’d downed to shake the depression memory lane had conjured and with Risa bitching at Dean about being stood up for Jane. Cass had to laugh when past Dean made light of the situation. Cass had never really meshed well with Risa, the only reason he put up with her at all was because he had little choice. He wasn’t confident enough to give Dean an ultimatum, so he just kept quiet and ignored her clingy manner, like having a few rolls in the hay with their glorious leader somehow made you his second in command or spouse.

     Cass grinned at past Dean with a dreamy wishful look. _Why couldn’t Dean still be like that?_ Still have that smart-ass lightness. When he finally turned back to his Dean, he saw the irritation and maybe even jealousy in his gaze and it made Cass smile wider. “What? – I like past you.”

     The rest of the meeting didn’t last long past Dean informing them that they would be walking right up the devil’s driveway and shooting him.

    

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

     Castiel sat staring at the sky from the hood of the Impala. It didn’t take a genius to know what was going to happen tomorrow, any more than it did to know that Dean planned it that way.

“I thought you were getting the grunt ready?”

“They’re ready, they’re always ready.”

Dean glared at his one-time angel. “So, you’ve decide to take some down time?”

“I thought I’d contemplate the universe before you sent me to my death tomorrow.” For the first time in a long time Cass actually saw Dean flinch. “What, you thought I didn’t know? – I lost my wings Dean, not my wits. I know you, I know how you think. We’re the diversion right, we go in the front, you go in the back.”

“Are you going to tell the others?”

Cass glanced back up at the sky. “I should. - But I won’t. – I’d doubt they’d take my word over yours anyhow.”

Dean thrust his hands in his pockets and looked at his feet, the silence drawing out for what felt like eternity.

     “What do you want me to say Castiel?”

“I don’t want you to say anything Dean. – We both know I deserve everything that’s coming to me right. – I mean it’s my fault Claire’s dead.”

Dean gasped for breath in the cold night air. “You....had no choice.” he said unconvincingly.

Cass scoffed as he jumped off the hood. “Don’t lie to yourself Dean, or to me. We both know you hate me as much as I hate myself.”

“Cass…”

Cass stopped next to Dean. “Don’t Dean. – I’ll lead your little diversion with a smile on my face because I’ve been waiting for this day for three years.” With that Castiel walked away, leaving Dean alone and cold.

 

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

     The car journey with past Dean was both wonderful and painful. Dean was teasing and joking and being his old self. Cass told him about losing his wings, about breaking his foot and that the drink and drug binge was just the way he rolled now. Then they’d spent an hour in silence, avoiding the one subject that he’d been determined to talk about. Of course, it was easer thought than said. How was he meant to tell Dean about Claire? How was he meant to tell Dean what he’d done?

     “Cass?”

“Yeah?”

“How did Claire die?” Dean suddenly asked with a small tight voice.

“What?”

     Dean turned his bright eyes on Cass. “I’m not an idiot Cass. I figured she had to be…” he swallowed. “… _dead_. – She’s nowhere in camp and going by the way you and future me are around each other, and your sudden liking for anything that could kill you…you don’t have to be Dr Phil to see it. – So, what happened? – The virus?”

     This had been what Cass wanted right. Tell Dean what had happened, get him to stop it. But could he really say the words. Confess his sins. “No…. it wasn’t the virus.”

Dean frowned. “Then…”

“Demon possession. – Meg to be exact.”

“What!” Dean yelled.

“Yeah, Lucifer sent her. She was meant to get close and take us out. – She used Claire to do it.”

“But Claire’s got the anti-possession charm. Bobby gave it to her.”

“She lost it. – Day after her birthday.”

     The car fell silent, the sound of wheels on tarmac and a rumble of engine parts filling the void.

“Did…couldn’t you save her.”

“We didn’t know until it was too late.”

“Too late?”

“Till we walked in on her…. killing Bobby.”

     Dean’s tear-filled eyes burned into the side of Cass’s face. “C-she killed Bobby.”

“Yes.”

Silence reigned once more.

     “So, what happened? – Is she with…him?”

Cass shifted in his seat. “No. – She’s dead.”

“Meg killed her before she split, didn’t she?”

Cass’s breathe became laboured. “No.”

Dean stared at his friend with concern and fear. “Cass… I… I didn’t…”

“No.”

Dean breathed a sigh of relief.

“I did.”

“What!”

     Cass breathed through the tears and the pain, through the memory that had haunted him every night till the only thing he could do was drink it away. “I had no choice Dean. It was her or you.”

“You killed your own daughter?” Dean gasped, anger tainting his question.

“She wasn’t technically my daughter.” Cass defended, though he didn’t believe it for a second.

Dean was just staring at him. Silent and judgmental.

“So now you know what happened to Claire and why you hate me.”

 

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

     They walked silently through the deserted town. Not a single demon or Croat in sight. Past Dean watching the distance between his future-self and Cass. He was still trying to get his head around it. Around Claire’s possession and death, around the fact that Castiel had kill her, it was painful to know they’d lost Claire, but it was more painful to know they’d lost each other. Dean had always figured that if he had family he could face whatever the universe, heaven or hell threw at him.

     Only hadn’t he thrown that out the window when he’d told Sam not to contact him again, that they were better off apart. -  And maybe they were, but if losing family turned Dean and Cass into the two men before him, he’d rather take his chance with Sam than without him. - And as for Claire? – There was no way that two-bit hell bitch was getting her claws into his daughter. Not this side of judgment day.

 

**_ SUPERNATURAL – IT JUST ENDS _ **

 

     Dean stood face to face with Zachariah as the man tried to once again persuade him to say yes. The man just wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“You haven’t learnt your lesson?”

“Oh, I learnt a lesson alright, just not the one you wanted to teach.”

 

**THE END**


End file.
